About 16 years ago, I stumbled upon a self-help book that changed my life. Seriously. I had already been on the path to emotional healing and well-being and had been spending my days between diaper changes, nursing, motherhood, school, and self-love. I was at the book store looking for some books to read in my quiet moments of sleepless nights, and feedings and found this catchy little book titled, Excuse Me Your Life Is Waiting, by a funny and powerful author, Lynne Grabhorn, if you have never read this book I urge you to be open to the principles Ms. Grabhorn describes in this book. They help in all areas of your life, and seem so obvious once you understand the inner workings of how your mind works. It makes perfect sense. https://www.amazon.com/Excuse-Your-Waiting-Grabhorn-Paperback/dp/. In her book Ms. Grabhorn explains about the power of vibration in manifesting what you desire. Whether it be more money, better relationships, inner peace, whatever you so desire can be achieved all with the positive vibrations. She leads her readers into her years of a cycle of career and financial ups and downs, and how she learned to harness this untapped, little known, invaluable tool. She even teaches her readers how to learn to practice and hone your skills to what I like to call, “vibrational manifestation”. I remember doing this when I was walking to class one day at college. There is a technique she teaches which she calls her “Hug a Bum” practice, whereby you find someone unlovable, deplorable, or in your mind unworthy of your attention, her example is an “old biddy” she describes as someone who would rather eat you alive then move out of your way in the grocery store, so I took this same premise and applied it as I was walking to class. It wasnt that I found the subject I chose deplorable, he was a college kid just minding his own business. But I flooded him with this enormous feeling of love and peace, just as Ms. Grabhorn describes doing herself at the grocery store, and I swear to you, this kid turned around to look back long after I was passed by him, as if someone or something had physically touched him and all I did was vibrate, just as Ms. Grabhorn described and you know what I was convinced that this was the way to manifestation. I practiced this in the car, in my trips to the market, with my children, I was becoming quite proficient and it felt good to focus positive energy and feel at peace. Did I acquire riches, well it depends on how you look at it, I was able to be a stay-at home Mom, on one income and live a very comfortable life, not wealthy but comfortable. I overcame my darkness, it helped in therapy, it helped to be a better Mom, because when I was feeling insecure about my abilities I just flooded my children with pure, accepting love and appreciation for their being.
Would I have manifested these things otherwise? Maybe. Would my children still be the amazing young adults they are today, possibly, but I do take great comfort in the fact that I was able to do all I could to ensure a happy, positive outlook for them and send them a daily dose of love, acceptance, and admiration.
My “Vision Quest” led me to seek my truth, and in turn led me to many books, teachers, and practices that helped me to heal. Healing, is such a personal thing to each of us, and I truly believe the old sage advice, “That when the student is ready, the teacher will appear”, this could be in the form of an actual teacher of practices that your soul wants you to learn, a program that you were compelled for some reason to flip past, but caught your attention, or a loved one on the same path who you are instinctively drawn to, which for me was my beautiful and spiritual mother-in-law. She was such a pivotal, driving force and mentor, not only as a role model, but as a woman who instinctively understood the things I needed to learn, to heal. She was always there to lend her guidance, experiences, and books that she seemed to know would be inspirational and helpful, and it was because of her that I fell in love with the practice of Yoga, which she introduced me to early in my Postpartum Depression after the birth of my daughter. It had been such a blessing to me in my life and I owe my mother-in-law, who in my Mom’s ascent into heaven years prior, became more of a mother to me than I could have ever hoped for, and her passing affected me in a profound way. Before she passed she instinctively gave me the copy of her Yoga video that I first borrowed many years ago, she said to me shortly before her passing, “You need to keep this, it will be your reminder of how far you have come.” It was truly one of the greatest gifts my soul has ever gotten, because in her wisdom, it was a stark reminder of how far I had come.
So today, my practice is an amalgamation of many of the Metaphysical modalities I have learned about in over 20 years. I don’t believe there is a one fits all kind of modality, for as we grow, we learn, we heal, we seem to outgrow, adapt, and seek out things that feel more personal, and in tune to the path we are on, or need to take. So here are some of my favorites to incorporate into your daily, if for no other reason but to feel better, and seek to understand yourself on a more intimate level. I don’t proclaim to know everything, nor do I have all of the answers, or have a life that even resembles that of perfection. What I do have on most days is, the spirit of a warrior, the knowing to trust that intuitive guidance, is what works best for me, and the heart of someone, who wants to be a driving force of change and light to anyone who is willing to ask me, work at finding their truth, and is part of my experience. So with that… here it is!
- One of the easiest ways I have found to begin any “vision quest” is with some form of physical modality, for me it is two-fold, Japa meditation and Yoga. Now I will be the first to admit I miss days, and then go back. But if you are patient and gentle with yourself, you seem to gravitate towards what you need, and for me, if I miss more than a week, I am so out of sorts, and it is usually that inner rumbling that leads me right back to what works for me. Even walking in nature is communion with your soul if you allow it. Anything physical that leads to exploration is perfect. Try many until one seems to call to you, which is what happened to me with me, I tried many types of meditation until Japa, and as for Yoga, Hatha seems to be what my body responds to best and I am totally ok with that!
- This one came from my Mother-in-law Pat, she encouraged me and my fireman, to create a vision board. I had such a hard time doing this, but I finally did it for a while, and I incorporated meaningful things I was working on such as, cooking, writing, my children, my hubby, our family, and as I saw these things each morning in my home office it began to permeate my thoughts and it helped to vibrate my intentions on those things, and so it helped to hone in on my vision for these things to manifest in my life, and even though it took time, they did, and I am blogging, cooking and living my passion. Something noteworthy, many athletes, actors, and succesful people, all have spoken about the power of visual aids and how the power of visualization led them to the path of their success, see having a talent for something is not always enough, you must have an idea ingrained in you, that you deserve it, are accepting of it, and remain in faith, even when you can’t see it or it feels out of the realm of possibility. Faith in the process, faith in your higher power, and most importantly, faith in yourself!
- How to start vibrating positively, in her book, Grabhorn describes an easy method for lifting your vibrations to manifest your heart’s desire. She asks her readers to flood love to a body part, or an inanimate object for example a stop sign, so say you take your hair, and you find all positive attributes, even if your hair is not your best feature, you learn to love all of it, and flood pure love, the same love you would give unconditionally to your children or your spouse. What you are attempting to do is flood love and lift your positive vibes and this practice is helping you see what it feels like to be in positive vibration where you are literally buzzing, like the euphoria of a new love, and soon it becomes second nature and you just begin to remain positive as much as humanly possible because the alternative and down side to this is dwelling in negativity which only serves to keep you stuck in a terrible state of mind, and will take a physical toll on your body, showing up as a cold, increased stress, being overweight, high blood pressure, diabetes. If you need some proof of this I urge you to read any book by Louise Hay. In her book, You Can Heal Your Life, she talks about how physical aliments go hand in hand with what we are thinking and how negative chatter in our minds leads to all dis-ease, as she calls it, and is tied to manifestations of the mind, nursing old wounds of sexual abuse, can show up as women’s reproductive issues for example, such as cancers, not being able to conceive or other aspects of issues that seem to be linked to the power of our negative thoughts and past hurts. https://www.amazon.com/Louise-L-Hay-Heal-Paperback/dp. I have been referencing this book for over 20 years and it has been an invaluable resource.
- This is probably the most important thing of all. You need to accept that YOU, and you alone, are responsible for your happiness. Did you get that?!! It seems so obvious, but in listening to many negative people over the years, I have come to see how they are so painfully unaware of this concept and they attach blame to everyone and everything around them. If my spouse did this, I would be happy, if my boss gave me the promotion and got off my back I could be happy, if my friends would reach out more and make me a priority I could be happy. Bullshit, happiness is a choice. Yes we all get down, even if we have depression and anxiety, but until I shared my life with my peers, no one in my circle, ever knew this was the case with me. Not because I hid it or felt it was shameful, becasue I told many new mother’s my story of Postpartum Depression, with all of my children and even wrote about it in my Psychology papers in college, but I chose not to let it define me. I also never expected anyone to make me happy. Sure I naively believed early in my spiritual growth that a person you love will complete you, but that is a heady concept if you think about it. Waiting for someone else, no matter how much you love them and they love you, is not going to complete you entirely, yes true love is beautiful and being part of a loving and safe love is what we all seek and aspire to, but owning your own happiness and seeking out what that means to you, is the key!! Living a life authentic to you, and finding what makes YOU HAPPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO EXPECT TO BE HAPPY!! Reread this, until you can feel the brute honesty of that statement. Chose to be happy this second, where you are, no matter what your circumstances are, or how dire your situation feels. Find one fucking thing to be happy about. Maybe it is the way your dog loves you, the fact that your children are happy and thriving, the bird that comes to your window, the fact that you are reaching and motivating people with your honesty and intellectual command of the English language. Anything, and feel blessed that you are alive to breathe, experience and embrace all this life has for you. Someone is wishing right now, that they had your life and were given a second chance, so don’t squander this moment with regrets, negativity, and self-defeating thoughts!
- Having some form of spirituality helps you to appreciate what you have and manifest more of the good into your life. I am not talking religion here. I myself no longer go to a Roman Catholic church, nor do I partake in communion in the religious sense. I am not going to impart my religious beliefs on anyone, or lack thereof, as this is between me and my God. While I will always be a Catholic girl at heart, my path is more spiritual and if I align myself to anything, it is more of the concepts of Buddhism than anything resembling Catholicism, these days. Spirituality is a deeply personal awakening, and it can be as simple as walking in nature having pure thoughts of gratitude, meditation, metaphysical principles, self-help philosophies, or anything that brings you into a deeper connection with a higher power. You don’t even have to define it. It is a feeling of oneness with something that you feel intuitively is greater than who you are, and is felt with every fiber of your being as a knowing that you tap into and use as part of your alignment with self and the world around you.
In closing I would like to leave you with this, like any new practice in the beginning the task seems daunting, not worth the effort, and likely it will fail, since maybe all things you have attempted thus far have. It may seem difficult to reconcile that you truly do have the power within to change your life at any time. Even if you are dealing with impossible circumstances that seem unlikely to resolve themselves, you don’t have to be dragged down and defined by them, and accept these circumstances as your lot in life. I know a few people who live everyday with adversity and medical issues that would in many people sideline them and keep them dwelling in negativity, yet these people understand the concepts I am presenting here as their gospel. Maybe they don’t understand them in the context I am explaining, but their intuitive self understands and they rise above their circumstances and carve out a life that serves to be an example of how to adapt and overcome obstacles we couldn’t begin to comprehend.
So my friends I ask you this, “Are you going to keep living your life dwelling in what might have beens, regrets, blaming, shaming, and annihilating yourself, with negative chatter?’ Or will you open yourself up to the possibility that something is just on the horizon that it will significantly change the way you see yourself, your family, your friends and the world around you? I can promise you this, once you begin to understand how you impact your world with negativity, worry, and blame, it won’t take long for you to rectify and change your patterns and seek to live as authentically, as beautiful, and as positively, as you can.
Wishing you all the very best this life has to offer, and sending love and positive vibrations to all.
** I would like to dedicate today’s blog to the amazing women who are in my life presently, and those whom are no longer with me. Yesterday our family lost a special person who had become a personal inspiration of strength and courage to us all, as she braved personal adversity. When I married my husband, I married into a family that was a warm, loving, and chock full of inspirational women, who in 25 years, have been a blessing in my life and whom I consider my Aunts, and my spiritual sisters. Eternal love and blessings to all of the women who have impacted me and shown me unconditional love and compassion. RIP Aunt Nan, we will miss you! Love you! xoxo