I have a confession to make….I have always been a free spirit, open minded, able and willing to, get in touch with my feminine side, and embrace it in all of it’s sexy, heavenly, glory. I take responsibility and relish in making things happen, including my orgasms. Now don’t get me wrong, I have a willing and ever ready partner, but I also know that the more I understand what I like and what works for me, the better I am to communicate my needs to my fireman.
I also know for some women, the idea of pleasure is an obscene and somewhat taboo notion due to religious ideology, a strict upbringing, or because they have experienced sexual abuse. All the more reason, I believe that being able to explore your body in a safe and loving environment is imperative to lessen the shame and apprehension these women feel.
There is a great new show that I am utterly obsessed with, on the Viceland Network called Slutever, I just love the title and Karley Sciortino host, Vogue sex writer, and former Dominatrix extraordinaire. Karley is sexy, funny, uninhibited, and feels like spending girl time, with your kinky best friend! I urge you to give this show a try, you will love her!
So in one episode Karley is on the hunt for a way to find someone to get her off, a happy ending if you will, the way guys seek out massage parlors, or so I’ve heard. But being a female, she was having a hard time finding someone who specializes in this or admittedly would cop to it. I won’t spoil the ending but let’s just say it was happy!
So it got me thinking about how far women have come, no pun intended, that we are comfortable enough with ourselves and our partners and own our orgasms. It really is a freeing thing once you understand this notion and accept the fact that you just as much as your partner, deserve a good orgasm, and here’s why!
Amazing health benefits of orgasm
In a study done by Neuroimmunomodulation, participants were asked to masturbate the same way they would at home. Blood was drawn before and after, and Scientists were able to see an increase in white blood cells, leukocytes and lymphocytes, especially natural killer cells, which are present in our bodies ready to fight off infection. Now I don’t know about you, but if you knew you could help yourself feel better in more than one way, wouldn’t it make sense to take matters into your own hands, pun intended and at least give it a try. With this flu season, being the worst in some time, just that alone should be reason enough to get busy!!
In additionn to boosting our immunity, the chemical neurotransmitter Dopamine, begins to flood the Limbic system of the brain where pleasure is registered, this includes the hippocampus. The more Dopamine released, the more the Limbic system is activated thus creating a higher surge of Dopamine. Another benefit comes from the release of endorphins, and Oxycontin, hormones responsible for feeling good and balancing our sense of well being, which can help with everything from sleep disturbances, pain, even depression.
What happens during the Female/Male Orgasm
Women experience orgasm as a sensation of sometimes strong, rhythmic uterine contractions, that can be felt in her anus, and outer vaginal area, with short intense bursts of pulsation, occurring once every second with burst as intense as 8-10 per orgasm. Not including multiple orgasms that occur more rapidly and for a prolonged period of time anywhere from one to six or more minutes.
Men experience orgasm in a two part process, this involves emission, where the man is at his climactic event, but has not yet ejaculated, and then inevitably ejaculation, where semen is present at the urethra, and expelled in rapid fire succession in quick burst, which are experienced through the length of the penis, and in the anus.
New Ways to get off
Leave it to those in “Cali” (California) to come up with a sexual stimulant for orgasm laced with THC, called Foria, sold as a powerful way to get women off, even promising women a 15 minute orgasm. Talk about the BIG-O!! Each spray is said to contain 360 mg of THC with a vile lasting for about 30 sprays. Now I personally have not tried it, but it is certainly one way to go to get where you need to.
Every woman in my opinion should have one or two good vibrators at her disposal. Not only are they great for getting in touch with your feminine side, they can be used with your partner for sex play.
One of the new kids on the block, takes orgasm to a whole new realm. Dubbed the Womanizer Deluxe. This nifty gadget, mimics oral sex by delivering intense clitoral stimulation using a combination of vibration and suction. Fans of the Womanizer have been singing its praises and it has become a hot selling item. While it is a bit pricey at $229, it might be high time to retire the vibrator and give this one a try!
If you are not ready to give up on your vibrator for the Womanizer, the We-Vibe Sync Massager may be just what you are looking for. This vibrator, is $199, on the high side yes, but you get all the bells and whistles that a regular vibrator doesn’t have. There are 10 programmable vibration modes, it can be used in conjunction with its app for iPhone, and comes with a discrete remote that a partner can use to control either with the remote in close proximity or via the app over WiFi connection when you can’t be near. Something to consider for long distance lovers, or when you and your significant other can’t be together!
A website that’s not porn
There is a website dedicated to the female orgasm. OMGYES. is a paid site, that offers users videos, scientific proven methods, including a series of 11 touchable videos that will get you on the path to orgasm. With celebrity users like Emma Watson, and Feminist Gloria Steinem, it has been growing in popularity. For a one time fee of $39, which you can pay via credit card or Paypal, you can access videos as many times as you would like.
The creators say on their site, they are using the money to fund further research and that even if you have successfully achieved orgasm on your own or with a partner, the science based research and techniques can help you further intensify and refine your quest for the big O! Pricey maybe, but they do the research and back it with scientific data, and in the name of science, why the hell not see what it’s about?!!! I for one am curious, so in the name of research, I think I just might shell out the $39 bucks and see what happens! I will get back to you on that!
“Life is a journey, not a destination.”
Except orgasm,”yesssssss” that’s a destination, indeed!
There is so much in life to experience and discover, that life really is a journey, it makes me sad that sex is still taboo in so many ways in this country. We are still a nation of sexually repressed and sexually misunderstood individuals. While I think we are opening up dialogue, with the recent sexual assault accusations by prominent Hollywood figureheads, prompting the #MeToo movement, our understanding of sexual appropriateness now has some clear direction. But we still have a ways to go in being sexually uninhibited and unapologetic in seeking sexual pleasure.
It is my hope that we will continue to understand and value one another sexually and otherwise. I truly hope that we become less uptight about seeking pleasure in whatever form we so desire that will bring us fulfillment and satisfaction.
So, here’s to finding your, happy ending! xo
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